{"id":3746,"date":"2026-03-24T17:40:28","date_gmt":"2026-03-24T21:40:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/?p=3746"},"modified":"2026-03-24T18:21:51","modified_gmt":"2026-03-24T22:21:51","slug":"why-strictness-can-kill-your-orthodox-faith-do-you-have-the-monk-complex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/why-strictness-can-kill-your-orthodox-faith-do-you-have-the-monk-complex\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Strictness Can Kill Your Orthodox Faith: Do You Have the \u201cMonk Complex\u201d?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"The\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

Today, we are exposing a particularly subtle and dangerous mistake that many novices make: the \u201cmonk or nun complex.\u201d This often happens when you are first inspired by the lives of the great saints, like Saint Anthony the Great or Saint Mary of Egypt. You read about their incredible feats and think to yourself that if they did it, you should too. Suddenly, you are trying to fast on nothing but bread and water, waking up at 3:00 a.m. for a three-hour prayer rule, and essentially turning your apartment into a monastic cell.<\/p>

The problem with this complex isn\u2019t the desire for holiness\u2014that is a good thing. The problem is the ego. When we set out these \u201csuper rules\u201d for ourselves, we are essentially acting as our own spiritual fathers. We are deciding exactly how much heat we can handle without the years of obedience required to sustain it. I often compare spiritual growth to physical weightlifting. If you go to the gym and try to bench press 400 pounds on your first day, you won\u2019t get strong; you\u2019ll just tear a muscle and never want to step foot in a gym again. I have seen many people on fire for their first six months, only to disappear a year later because they tried to run a marathon at a sprinter\u2019s pace. They made the faith a burden of \u201cdoing\u201d rather than a relationship of \u201cbeing\u201d with God.<\/p>

There is also a deep spiritual danger in this heroic strictness: it almost always leads to judging others. When you are keeping a perfect, difficult fast, it is nearly impossible not to look at the person next to you eating a cheeseburger on a Friday and feel superior. The Desert Fathers warn us constantly about this. They tell us it is far better to eat meat and remain humble than to eat nothing and be filled with pride. As a novice, your job isn\u2019t to be the \u201cbest\u201d or most \u201chardcore\u201d Orthodox person in the parish; it is to be the most repentant one. If your prayer rule is making you grumpy, impatient with your spouse, or judgmental of your priest, then that rule is serving your ego rather than God.
To avoid this pitfall while still being serious about your faith, you must embrace the rule of obedience. Never take on a new fast or a longer prayer rule without asking your priest first. If he tells you to do less, listen to him. That act of simple obedience is worth more than a thousand prostrations. You must also remember that your current \u201cmonastery\u201d is your daily life. If you are a student, a parent, or an employee, that is your primary spiritual work. Serving your family and doing your job with integrity is where you will find God.<\/p>

Another vital practice is to keep your efforts hidden. When you are fasting or praying, do not talk about it. If people know how \u201choly\u201d you are, you have already received your reward in their praise. Focus instead on consistency. It is better to do ten percent of a rule with consistency for years than to do a hundred percent for only ten days. Consistency is what slowly shapes the soul and allows you to add more when there is a true need, guided by your spiritual father.<\/p>

The Church is not a gymnasium for spiritual athletes to show off; it is a hospital for the sick. Monastics are called to a very specific and intense form of warfare, but most of us are called to find God in the ordinary\u2014in the patience we show in traffic and the kindness we offer our neighbors. Don\u2019t try to become a saint overnight. Instead, be a faithful beginner every single morning. As Saint Herman of Alaska beautifully advised, from this day, from this hour, from this minute, let us love God above all. He didn\u2019t say to fast perfectly; he said to focus on love and humility. The rest will come in God\u2019s time.<\/p>

Welcome home, and let\u2019s get to work, humbly and slowly.<\/p>

To watch the full video on the \u201cMonk Complex,\u201d click here.<\/a><\/p>

<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\n
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThe Priesthood Crisis: Is There a Practical Path Forward?\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t3 \u041a\u0432\u0456\u0442\u043d\u044f, 2026<\/span> | <\/span>by ivanshandra<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\tIn my previous post, we discussed the “quiet crisis” of...\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tRead More \u2192\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThe Silent Crisis: Addressing the Priest Shortage in North American Orthodoxy\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t3 \u041a\u0432\u0456\u0442\u043d\u044f, 2026<\/span> | <\/span>by ivanshandra<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\tAs we witness a beautiful increase in attendance and a...\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tRead More \u2192\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tAm I Doing it Right? Navigating the Gray Areas of Orthodox Life\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t24 \u0411\u0435\u0440\u0435\u0437\u043d\u044f, 2026<\/span> | <\/span>by ivanshandra<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\tSince we began our “survival guide” for those new to...\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tRead More \u2192\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tWhy “Internet Orthodoxy” is Killing Your Soul: Online vs. The Real Parish\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t24 \u0411\u0435\u0440\u0435\u0437\u043d\u044f, 2026<\/span> | <\/span>by ivanshandra<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\tIn our journey through the common pitfalls for those new...\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tRead More \u2192\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tWhy Strictness Can Kill Your Orthodox Faith: Do You Have the \u201cMonk Complex\u201d?\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t24 \u0411\u0435\u0440\u0435\u0437\u043d\u044f, 2026<\/span> | <\/span>by ivanshandra<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\tToday, we are exposing a particularly subtle and dangerous mistake...\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tRead More \u2192\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThe Power of Silence: Why Every Orthodox Neophyte Needs It\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t24 \u0411\u0435\u0440\u0435\u0437\u043d\u044f, 2026<\/span> | <\/span>by ivanshandra<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\tIn my previous post, we touched on the three common...\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tRead More \u2192\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today, we are exposing a particularly subtle and dangerous mistake that many novices make: the \u201cmonk or nun complex.\u201d This…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3720,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_header_footer","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"give_campaign_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,57,70],"tags":[59,58,60],"class_list":["post-3746","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general","category-novices","category-survival-guide","tag-monk-complex","tag-novices","tag-strictness"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3746","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3746"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3746\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3750,"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3746\/revisions\/3750"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3746"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3746"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanshandra.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3746"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}